Missing that Christmas Feeling

Can you guys believe Christmas is in 4 days? I'm missing that Christmas spirit this year despite my best efforts. I've been listening to my favourite Christmas hits every morning as I do my blogging, trying to get in to that happy, festive spirit, but something is just lacking. Is it the lack of snow? Is it missing my mom? Is it my work schedule that has me pretty much working right up until Christmas? I think it's a combination of all of these things but I'll tell you, I just don't feel it this year.

I really miss my mom. Christmas was definitely her time to shine I'll tell you. I miss the chaos. I miss the smell of weeks of hectic Christmas baking. I miss everything about our Christmas' of yesteryear. Things really haven't been the same without her. I also think that as we grow up, the nostalgia of it all kind of diminishes despite our best efforts. While I wish I could still have the youthful excitement surrounding the day, it's just another day anymore, especially when you're just working all the way through. I must admit, I was pretty spoiled at the restaurant when my boss would take her vacation to Mexico and close us for like, 10 days. Sure, I wasn't getting paid, but it definitely felt more like the holidays when I was off and was able to do Christmasy things. Maybe that's another reason this all just feels so lame.

I'm looking forward to seeing my sister and brother over the holidays of course. I'll spend some time with my sister and her family on Christmas day, and some time with my brother and family on Boxing day because everyone doesn't really see each other anymore. My sister / dad and my brother are in this weird place where they haven't really spoken much or spent ANY time together in years. It's a weird dynamic but let's face it, who's family dynamic is perfect? Admittedly, it would be so nice if we could all get together leaving me with one day to spend myself, but that's more so me being greedy. I miss the whole fam getting together but what can ya do?

But that's that. I'm missing the spirit this year you guys. Maybe the next few days will change that, I don't know, but I'm signing off and heading to work. Exhausted, over-tired, and completely missing the Christmas spirit.

HAPPY VEG