I know I've probably said this a billion times before, but I'm often caught off guard by how quickly time seems to pass as I get older. At least once or twice a week, I catch myself thinking / discussing time. Not just it passing, but how quickly time seems to pass when you consider life events.
My dad went back to work this past week after being off for two years on injury and I caught myself thinking, that went by incredibly quickly. I remember him going in for his first surgery, second, and healing, like it was all within the past week. I look at my mother's passing which was now almost 3 years ago, and I can so vividly remember everything I thought throughout the entire process. I still find myself reminiscing like it was yesterday, memories so fresh despite time eluding me. It amazes and scares me all at the same time. Lately, I've been trying to figure out what I want out of life with a little more intention. I have always had so many ideas that took me in every which direction, but I've never concretely decided on a path in life. When I think about time, I think about my life, and can't help but feel pressure to figure things out. I am leaving for Ireland again in September, which is only 7 months away. This will buy me another year of trying to figure things out and hopefully get me focused on my future. I can't help but think that I've let a lot of valuable time pass me by and with my anxiety over time passing and getting older, I find myself overwhelmed lately. I just turned 32, but remember turning 18 like it was yesterday. Am I the only one who has this anxiety about time passing so quickly? Is it my own feelings of guilt or embarrassment over not being more successful at this point, manifesting themselves as anxiety over time? Could it be something else? Kind of makes me feel a little crazy! With that being said, I'm desperately looking forward to going back to Ireland. I'm really banking on it inspiring me and giving me exactly what I need to motivate myself. I won't have to wait long, 7 months should pass in 5 seconds if this trend continues. The perils of anxiety lol HAPPY VEG
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December 2024
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