Change

Change is one of those things that whether we like it or not, it's going to happen regardless. I'm not always the biggest fan of change, especially if that change is forced upon me. When I'm in control of the change, I'm usually quite eager and ready to take on a new experience. When it's forced upon me, I tend to be hesitant and anxious about those changes. Well you guys, the restaurant I've worked at for almost 8 years officially closed for the last time last Friday. Talk about a big, stinky, unwanted change being hurled at me full speed.

To say that I was shocked would be an overstatement. I've worked as restaurant manager, particularly managing the front of house, for 3 1/2 years. I've seen us go from waiting lists for tables, running ourselves ragged to keep up, to where we ended things in the past few months. The day's were slow, even on our busiest days, things paled in comparison to where we once were. I recognized things were going downhill and worked pretty diligently to come up with ideas to bring people back to no avail. We were hit with road closures that left us inaccessible for months, a drag story time event that blew up and saw us boycotted, and covid. I navigated that restaurant as best I could through those challenges but with every new challenge or road block, we barely scarped our way out. It was evident to me for a long time that things weren't going well, I had just held on to that glimmer of hope that things would turn around.

Our final day was a sad one. We came together, ate pizza, had some laughs, and mourned a restaurant that meant something different to each of us. As I walked out for the last time, I knew it was time to accept that this major change was going to be a difficult one to endure. I'm incredibly grateful that I had the salon as a second job / buffer to fall back on but so many things started going through my mind. When will I see everyone again? How am I going to save on just one income? Ugh, I had this big plan to move away next April that relied on my being at both jobs right to the end. Now what? Is that plan even still in place? Is it even feasible at this point?

I don't know. I don't know anything at this point. This past week was one of reflection for me. Mourning the loss of a place I called home for so long, but also mourning my future plans which at this point, are very much up in the air. This is what I call forced change. Sure, I'd seen the signs that things weren't going well, but I was still caught off guard at how quickly the restaurant went up for sale and sold less than a month later. There just wasn't enough time to process everything. I'm not even sure as I type this that I've fully processed or accepted the situation. I'm coasting, just trying to be present for the situations I'm dealing with without putting too much emphasis on my future. Am I back at square one? Not necessarily, but I'm not on track like I was before the restaurant closed.

So here I am, enveloped in a change I didn't want. Change can be good, but sometimes it comes at a cost of losing something so very important to you as it has me. What does the future look like? I'm still trying to figure that out.

HAPPY VEG