I sat down to go through my tested recipes yesterday and came to the realization that I am running extremely low. In the three years I've had this blog, I've actually never run out of tested recipes to share which is something I'm extremely proud of. I was pretty taken aback at what little stock I had left and it kind of forced me to realize that I am struggling to juggle everything in my life right now. I'm kind of caught between a rock and hard place.

I'm working a lot, like, almost too much, with the intention of saving vast amounts of money for my trip back to Ireland in September. I'm on track to have significantly more money this time around which is definitely a good thing. With this of course, comes a lack of time for just about everything else. I'm struggling to find time to schedule hangouts with my friends. I'm struggling to find time to test recipes for my blog. I'm basically working everyday and that's about it. Obviously, I need to work as much as possible so that I can pay off my credit, my student loan, and save prior to leaving, but it appears to be coming at a cost.

I'm often going in early or picking up extra shifts, eating away at the time I have to do things for my blog or in my personal life. It's hard for me to refuse helping out when I know that situations are grim at work, so I'm always saying yes. Without realizing it, my intentions of helping at work and saving money are actually hurting me more than helping. I'm legitimately working every single day, sometimes for over 10 hours a day, leaving me with literally no time for anything else. What am I to do??

Do you guys struggle with balancing out your time? I would imagine I'm not the only one with this problem, but fixing it is a lot more difficult than I anticipated. How do I keep saving, cut my hours, find time to test recipes, maintain relationships, and find me time to boot? Ugh, being an adult is quite a struggle sometimes isn't it?

HAPPY VEG

Guys, all I can think about is flying back to Ireland and picking up where I left off. There's this burning inside of me that's pushing me to leave as quickly as possible considering I'm just about saved up to where I need to be to comfortably try this again. Knowing I have the funds is making it harder to continue to go to work everyday because I just feel like I shouldn't be here right now. I have major FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) happening right now.

Don't get me wrong, I am still enjoying my jobs for the most part. There have been some hiccups obviously that have made me feel like it was time for me to leave, but knowing I'll be leaving in September is what pushes me through those difficult situations. I think it boils down to my desire to grow on a personal level. My creativity is stifled at this point because I've pretty much done everything I'm going to do with the jobs I currently have you know? It makes my desire to leave even bigger because I know there's a year of creativity, growing, and new experiences right around the corner.

I also can't help but think that this trip will help me figure out my game plan when I get back. I certainly won't be going back to my current jobs as I feel I've run my course, so where does this leave me? I have so many ideas for my own business and so many different things going through my mind that a year of personal growth should be just what I need to refocus and start a game plan. 

I love the idea of having my own vegetarian restaurant! I also love the idea of doing some volunteering at animal sanctuaries with the intention of opening my own in the future. I ALSO love the idea of travelling more, maybe through travel writing. There's so many things I could see myself doing that it makes it difficult to focus on a direction. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm in my thirties and time is of the essence. Not to say I'm at death's door or anything, but there's no better time than the present to act on your dreams right?

Anyways, I'll continue to do what I'm doing for the time being. I'm watching flights to Ireland right now and waiting for the right price to book and start to feel excited again. I feel so ready to embark this time around! Unlike last time, I have no fears when it comes to flying out because I know what's waiting for me at the other end of the flight. New opportunity!

HAPPY VEG