As the title of this post suggests, I'm at an impasse. I absolutely love the job that I'm doing at the hostel and I love the people I work with, I want to first point that out. My problem lies with the shift itself and the types of people I'm being forced to deal with. Working nights is something I told myself I'd never do again after my job at 7 11 and not because the job sucked, at that point it was solely the hours. I was NOT loving staying up all night and sleeping all day. I just don't find it especially healthy for me, I find I miss the sunlight and just the activities one partakes in during the day. With this job however, it's that and more.
In the past two weeks, I've dealt with a slew of uncomfortable situations involving guests that made me question whether this was the right fit for me. Last week, there was a guest who was so drunk and enraged with me for my questions I actually feared he was going to hit me lol Like, actually full on punch me in the face. I lol about it now but at that moment, I was not laughing. I stood my ground and made our rules clear to him but he was so drunk and belligerent, I wasn't sure how the situation was going to turn out. This past weekend was no different, Friday was full of drunks who were rude and uncooperative and last night was just as bad. Some drunk guys were making homophobic jokes to me while I tried to check their identification and they made me super uncomfortable. Not to mention some dickhead intentionally set off the fire alarm which sent the building in to a tizzy. By the end of the shift this morning, I was really questioning how much I was willing to take. I went to college for Hospitality, whether in hotels or restaurants, so I enjoy customer service and engaging with people. I enjoy being in situations where I put a smile on someone's face or make their day somehow because of the service I provide, I take pride in it. When I took this job as a night porter, I initially thought it would be great to finally get a job in the accommodations sector and also thought at the time that it would involve customer service almost entirely. Unfortunately, it appears I'm more of a babysitter to people who see me as a target and essentially work 8 hours stressed and worried about what kind of situation I'll be dealing with next. If it weren't for the great company of my coworkers, there would be absolutely no saving grace here. Last night I asked myself, did I go to college for this? Did I endure two years as a full time student, working full time as well to help pay for school, only t be in this kind of a position? I really can't see myself doing this for another 8 months while I'm in Ireland but I also feel some kind of unnecessary loyalty when I really shouldn't. I've only been there two months and frankly, haven't enjoyed myself as much as I'd hoped. Why can't I bring myself to just walk away? Oh yah, because I empathize with the managers in how difficult it is to find night porters and feel like if I left, I'd be screwing them over immensely. This has always been my problem with jobs, I've gotten to a point where I no longer enjoyed the job or felt like I could continue but I was too concerned with how they would function without me completely forgetting about myself or how I felt. Why do I do this? Ugh, I know if I make it until April there are a couple day and afternoon staff who are leaving which I would hope meant that I would be moving to days and afternoons as I've already made it clear I couldn't stay on nights. My question is though, can I actually last until then? We're moving in to a slower time of year but that hasn't stopped the bigoted drunk men from turning up at all hours and being disrespectful. I don't know what to do. I also know this job will look good on my resume when I return to Canada because a lack of experience is what has kept me from getting hotel work back home. Hence the impasse. MY own happiness has to be more important to me but I can't help but think of all the reasons why I should stay. Do you guys do this too or am I just being crazy and should gtfo while I still can? HAPPY VEG
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