I'm heading into my last week of work at both of my jobs and I couldn't be more excited. Finishing up means I'm just that much closer to heading back to Dublin. Although I feel like the time has dragged on these past few weeks, I also feel like it couldn't be going any faster. I have quite a few things I want to take care of before I head out this time, starting with selling off some of goodies that I know I won't be bringing along with me.
I've noticed myself growing resentful of my jobs these past few weeks. Not for any specific reason, just in general. Whether this is because of my excitement over leaving or not, I've still noticed it. I find myself growing frustrated at work much easier and allowing myself to become overwhelmed which obviously frustrates me. I've always gotten to a point with a job where I just knew it was time for me to go and I believe I've reached that point with both of my jobs. If I wasn't leaving for Dublin so soon, I think I'd have to quit anyways. I would never subject anyone to my resentful attitude when the solution was as simple as walking away. I've learned a lot about what I want for my future however. My job at Healthy Mama has taught me an awful lot in regards to cooking techniques and new products I would likely never have worked with. I've learned a lot about product quality and its importance and also allowed my creativity in the kitchen to really shine. What I've taken away from this experience is that I don't believe I want to work in a kitchen after this. I've learned that I enjoy cooking so much when it's under my own terms, not so much when it's repetitive or forced. I'm also reminded that I literally hate being warm so naturally, a kitchen is probably the last place for me to be. I loved this job so very much but I feel at peace with walking away this time. When I come back, I want to focus on what will enrich me and my life. I want to do things that will help me achieve my own goals as opposed to putting all I have into someone else's success. I love my boss and I want her to be successful and happy, but I also want to have that same feeling for myself. I've spent 16 years putting all of myself into other people's success and although it is such a great feeling to see someone succeed knowing you contributed even in the smallest way, I can't help but want that feeling for myself. What will I be doing when I come home? I haven't a clue to be honest, but I have a year to figure that out. For now, I'm going to just live in the moment, I'm going to flow with whatever comes my way in Dublin and just engage in everything I possibly can. I want to truly experience everything I possibly can because if there's one thing I've learned from losing my mother, it's that life is so short and fickle, it can really end at any time and I refuse to sit back and wait for that happen. I need to live and going back to Dublin is exactly what I need to be doing. Chat with y'all soon <3 HAPPY VEG
3 Comments
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