My own Worst Enemy

I'm so guilty of biting off more than I can chew in life, especially when I have a goal to achieve. When I'm focused on said goal, I tend to put everything I have in to achieving said goal, often times at the expense of my own happiness or well-being. Anyone else guilty of this? 

As I've mentioned before, I have plans on moving next year. I don't quite know yet where I'm headed, keeping my options open, but that's my plan. In order to achieve this plan, I took a second job with the intention of working a day or two extra per week. It has since turned in to 4 days a week on top of the four I work at the restaurant as well. Since about January, I've been averaging 60+ hours per week. It's a lot! With that being said, I paid off debt I incurred from the Government, as well as paying my credit card off completely and actually having a savings developing. This is all fabulous news, but as I said, I sometimes do so at my own expense.

I have a bunionette, which is essentially when the bone in your foot starts to shift and protrude out of the side of your foot. A callous typically develops over the bunionette making it extremely painful. My doctor recommended taking some time off of my feet and keeping spacers in to try and relieve pressure and slowly shift the bone back in to my foot. What's so difficult about that you ask? Well, I need two jobs so that I can continue to save money for my move, but with each day, I find myself in more pain than I was the day before. It seems like I'm working against my own healing to achieve my goals of moving out of the province next year. How do I take two or three weeks off? Sure, it's for my health, but that's two jobs with two schedules to try and accommodate my being unavailable. It isn't possible like, who's paying me while I'm off resting?

I'm so conflicted you guys because I can feel my foot getting worse with every day. The pain has been so intense some days that it actually nauseates me with every step I take. This thing has a heart beat for crying out loud, pulsing and throbbing as I navigate twelve and a half hour days 3 or 4 times a week. I know that I need to continue this schedule in order to keep on track with my plans to move next April, but I worry that my foot won't make it until then and I'll be forced in to surgery to fix my foot before it gets to a point that I cannot walk at all. I'm literally working against my own health in order to achieve this goal of moving next year and I'm conflicted most days about whether this is the right decision.

Ugh, anyone else out there guilty of putting their own health or concerns on the back burner in order to achieve something? Am I making the right decision here or should I be putting this energy in to healing and then going from there? I'm just sop conflicted because I'm so determined to move, but I'm in tremendous pain and don't really have any time in the week to rest my busted foot. I'm overdoing it, but I don't know what else to do. I've always been a work horse, even at my own expense, I don't know any differently.

Anyways, that's that! Happy Thursday guys. Hopefully I can get my head out of my own ass and figure out a way to balance the work load with much-needed self care and rest before I crash and burn y'all.

HAPPY VEG