The Bigger Picture

When I think about the things that are important to me in life, I consider animal activism to be one of my biggest passions. I truly want to devote my life to helping animals in any way that I can but there has always been something that has prevented me from taking the plunge. Although I film animal rights videos and preach on my blog about living a vegetarian / vegan lifestyle, I haven't been able to bring myself to attend protests & demonstrations out of fear. That fear is directly related to my General Anxiety Disorder.

Anxiety is something I have struggled with since I was in high school. Being bullied, struggling with an eating disorder, and trying to figure out my sexuality really overwhelmed me growing up and I believe that's when my anxiety became out of control. It got so bad that I was paranoid of walking, crossing the street, or being in public altogether. It has been so hard to fight those feelings off and there have been many get togethers put on by friends that I have avoided for fear of being in social settings with people I didn't know. I've avoided connections with guys because of the fear of having to develop a relationship which scared the bejesus out of me. Anxiety has truly wrecked a good portion of my life.

After my mother passed, I started to realize that life is way too short to be anxious about everything. That event really changed my life in so many ways but there was still a lingering anxiousness that persisted.

What does this all mean?

Booking this trip to Ireland and taking the plunge so to speak is sort of my way of taking control of my anxiety. Thrusting myself into a situation that I know will test me in every way imaginable is how I intend to conquer my anxiety. I know I can handle myself and I feel like putting myself in this position will really help me break out of my shell. I will be forced to meet people, forced to step outside of my comfort zone on every level, and forced to face my fears head on. I am almost sure that this experience will change my life in so many ways and I especially hope it helps me take control of my anxiety and be done with it.

My ultimate hope is that in conquering my anxiety I can return after my 2 years and really thrust myself into activism. All of the fears and thoughts that have prevented me from stepping up to the plate will be distant memories and I should be able to really involve myself in the fight for animals wholly. 

This trip means so much more to me than just travelling and having fun, it's my opportunity to tackle what has always been the biggest hurdle in my life. My anxiety has stood in the way of so many things in my life and I truly hope that this trip snaps me out of those feelings and allows me to be the very best version of myself.

I've got big hopes for this trip and I can't wait to embark on this journey of self discovery, travel, and excitement. I know that I am in control and this trip will truly prove to myself how in control I am. That's exactly what I need!


HAPPY VEG