What's Happening

So I've been back in Canada now for 2 months and I literally couldn't tell you what I've done since I've been back. It's been nothing but a blur of operating on autopilot. I'm legitimately still stuck emotionally in Dublin but physically, I'm here in Canada doing the things I have to be doing to make it through. Coming back to Canada around Christmas was also an interesting thing because I came back with absolutely no savings and on top of trying to pay down my credit card, activate / pay for my phone, and get myself together, I'm also tasked with locating money to get my 6 nephews something for Christmas. I'm a touch overwhelmed.

Besides this, I seem to be at a standstill with other things I'd like to be doing in my life. I took out my DSLR camera but once to try and play with it to get a better handle on it. I've stopped my German lessons despite doing really well at them. I haven't signed up for Zumba despite wanting to do that also. It's so weird that my usual motivation is lost somewhere in translation while I continue to just go to work and come home. It's a vicious cycle of lackluster motivation and longing to be elsewhere.

I'm hoping that I can use New Years as motivation to get myself together. Start the year fresh with all of the things I want to do and try to set aside time each day to do these things. I'm also going to start looking into a second job so I can save the money required to move to New Zealand next year. I'm still not 100% committed to the idea of moving there but even having the savings to perhaps move somewhere else in Canada and get a place would be beneficial. 

This post was nothing more than rambling but it's how I'm feeling lol I have no motivation to do anything outside of what I have to be doing and I have no direction for my future lol Kind of daunting isn't it?

HAPPY VEG